Hazel’s Beginning
On June 30th, 2011 our lives changed forever when tiny, Hazel Mae Wingerden, entered the world.
She was born 8 1/2 weeks early due to spontaneous preterm labor that couldn't be stopped.
It was the scariest time of my life, up until that point, since she was so small and seemingly fragile,
at 3 lbs. 10 oz. and 16" long.
We had been warned, the week before, that if she were born, she would need to spend considerable time in the NICU…
likely up until her actual due date of August 30th. And so our NICU days began.
I would drive a half an hour there and back and spend about 8 hours with her each day.
It was very difficult at first figuring out my way around all of the machines, doctors, nurses, monitors, etc.
And what my role really was…as her mother.
Most of the time I felt like a visitor. The nurses seemed more like her "mom" than I did.
They made the decisions. I just watched.
That was very hard.
For a long time I didn't feel like we had bonded at all.
And I spent quite a few days in tears trying to cope with all of the changes happening around me
and filled with fear about what the future might hold for our daughter.
She did great at first. An "all-star" they called her.
Although during her first week, she ended up needing to be under the bilirubin lights for jaundice for several days.
She also ended up needing an IV in her head at 6 days old, since she kept pulling the ones in her hands out.
But she was strong – and a fighter – that we could tell immediately.
Then she started to have what they called "dips" where her oxygen saturation would go very low.
She would essentially forget she needed to breath. And this was the major hurdle we needed to overcome the rest of the time she spent there.
Some days the dips were so low, she would turn completely blue…purple…almost grayish.
Which really frightened me.
She needed oxygen blown in her face at times to bring her back.
My heart would drop, and I would pray so hard that she would come back up.
And each time, thankfully, she did.
They reassured me that she would eventually grow out of it…and then we could look towards home.
That seemed a million miles away though at the time.
But she remained the light of my day…
Every time I arrived back in the NICU and saw her face, I will filled with joy.
My husband was my strength the entire time…
It was amazing to watch how attentive, tender and sweet he was with her.
He showed no fear and took on the role of Dad with ease…
We prayed together constantly and, amazingly, this whole experience bonded us closer than we had ever been before.
Slowly Hazel grew bigger and stronger. And I gained confidence as her mom…
After 45 days in the NICU at Strong Hospital in Rochester, NY (for which we are ever indebted and grateful for),
Hazel was diagnosed with severe reflux, put on meds, and we were told she was ready to move on to a smaller hospital for the last leg of her care.
We spent the last 5 days at Highland Hospital with amazing nurses who really helped us to bond with our baby during her final week there.
And then it was time to head home…where we had longed to bring Hazel for the previous 5o days…
It was August 19th when we received the news that she would be going home. It was the best day ever.
She weighed 5 lbs. 14 oz. at the time and there were still lots of concerns, but we were ready to have our baby home with us.
That was almost a year ago now.
And on Saturday June 3oth, our – not-so-tiny-anymore – Hazel, turned one year old!
We had the biggest birthday bash ever in celebration (photos coming soon!)…
(photos by Erin Wingerden)
It has been one roller coaster of a year…with lots of ups and downs along the way.
And the ride isn't over yet, as we expect Hazel's brother to arrive in October (hopefully not much sooner!)
We would love to have the next experience go a little smoother…
but even if it doesn't, I am much more confident and prepared for whatever comes our way this time.
Thanks for all of your prayers, encouragement and support this past year! We are ever so grateful 🙂
Till next time…
18 Comments
sadie
tears in eyes. Gorgeous post. I was thinking of you just yesterday actually, and stopped by to see if you had posted.
I’m glad you did today. Happy bd little lady! (a little late, I know)
x
Robbie Marie
Happy birthday, little one!
Your story sounds similar to my granddaughter’s. Piper Rae was born at 32 weeks – 3lbs 6oz and 15.5″ tall. She spent 7 weeks in the NICU after having major surgery at 2 days to attach her stomach and intestine.
Piper had her gall bladder removed, due to the extended time she spent on IV feeds at 8 months; she weighed only 8lbs. She had open chest surgery at 15 months.
Piper turned 3 in May and is a go-gettin’ little girl. She has a little sister that who born at term! You can meet them on her blog: http://aimeesbowlofcherries.blogspot.com
Best wishes always, I follow you on Reader, Robbie Marie 🙂
Andrea Baumhardt
Alice– thank you for sharing your tender baby photos with us all. They so reminded me of my own sons… and although I do not have digital images, only hard photographs, I do have many of those same moments…my favorite being the one of my husband and James with the bottle so wee it could be for a doll. The first birthday is a miraculous milestone! Your darling has grown so much! I hope she gets to be a big sister to a BOUNCING baby boy in DUE TIME!! Prayers, hugs, and all the best, Andrea
Susan
Such a beautiful, beautiful precious girl! It is good to see a post from you, Alice. I’ve always loved your blog and style, and it is so heartwarming to see your posts as a Mom. Wow – a little brother on the way, too! It has been quite a year for you, and you have come out of it stronger than ever. I wish all the best for you and your wonderful family.
Kerryanne English
It’s been an absolute pleasure to watch Hazel’s progress throughout the year and to watch you all grow as a beautiful family ~ thank you for sharing it with us Alice ♥
Allison
just beautiful! cannot wait to see photos of her birthday and that little brother in October!!!!
amy
She looks JUST like her mom 🙂 Love those black and white photos of both you and your husband with her! So glad to hear from you. Congratulations on your boy!
xo≈
Amy
Laura - Elsee Blog
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us! Happy Birthday Hazel. So glad you pulled through, you strong little one!
Sharon
Beautiful family pictures! I’m so glad all went well with Hazel but it had to have been like being on a roller coaster ride. One year old … that is fantastic! I can hardly believe her brother will be here before long. My goodness that is coming right up! I hope you are all enjoying a wonderful summer!
Niru
This gave me shivers… such heartbreaking moments you had to endure. I’m quietly sending grace to God for working his MAGIC for your family and blessing Hazel, his very special angel. Yours and your husband’s photographs with baby Hazel are so touching and beautiful. Hope her little brother will GENTLY join the family and multiply Joy in your lives. Blessings to your one-year-old miracle!
Rebecca
You have brought tears to my eyes Alice. I remember your announcement of Hazel’s arrival as if it were yesterday. Thank you for sharing her with us as well as your journey ~ What a joy it has been to be able to watch her grow. Wishing you all the best as you paitently await the arrival of your little boy. I think I am looking forward to “meeting” her little brother just as much as everyone else 🙂
Sending you all hugs. XOXO ~ Rebecca
linda
i was brought to your story from Brenda @ It’s a Beautiful Life. what an amazing year you/your family has been through! hazel is a beautiful little girl, precious in everyone’s eyes! much love & well wishes to you in the coming year, preparing to welcome her brother! ^)^linda
Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life
Hi Alice,
Wonderful to hear from you…thank you for stopping by. I tried to leave a comment yesterday, but I couldn’t… so here it is now.
I enjoyed your posting about Baby Hazel.. and to think she’s celebrating her birthday. What a journey of grace!
Wishing you joy and glimpses of heaven in unexpected places……..
Brenda
Jill
Praise God. Oh my, praise God.
Sheila R
What an incredible journey and year that you all of had! It makes Hazel’s first birthday that more special. Praying God continues to bless you all.
Laura @ 52 FLEA
Beautifully written…a wonderful story with a very happy ending!
Our story was very similar…28 years ago when our son was born at 32 weeks…we went through many of the same trials and emotions…our photos of Dan’s beginning are in a treasured photo album. Although he still has a major hurdle as the medical world was not as advanced back in the early 80’s…he has been the joy of our lives. Hazel is such a beautiful little girl and I am sure she and her little brother will continue to delight and bring joy to you and Joshua.
Always love to see a post from you…wonderful photos!
Take care of yourself,
Laura
Leah C
Beautiful, blessed life. Best wishes to you & your sweet family, Alice:) And a Happy Belated Birthday to your darling girl Hazel!
Emily
This is such a beautiful post! I am 26 weeks pregnant and crying my eyes out looking at the sweet face of your strong yet fragile little tiny baby. She is so precious! I am so happy for you that they were able to help your sweet baby during such a scary time and get her home safe and sound!